Today has been my toughest day so far in the 16 years of Vivian's life.
Vivian was agitated all night long. Robert stayed up at the hospital and was scarcely able to sit down during the 12 hours he was there because he was constantly standing by her side to comfort her. When I arrived to relieve Robert, I found myself frequently lying in bed with Vivian trying to hold her arms and console her. Early in the afternoon Dr. Fanning reinstated some of her sedative drugs, though at a lower level, theorizing that perhaps we had removed them from her too quickly. Vivian finally settled down and was able to sleep, though she often opened her eyes restlessly.
Most upsetting, though, was Dr. Fanning's comment to me this morning that Vivian had surely suffered some sort of brain injury at some point during this traumatic episode, that her mental state post-sedation was not consistent with what he usually sees in this situation. He told me it was too early to tell how extensive the injury was or to what extent she would be able to recover. I was unspeakably distraught at this news. My sweet mother-in-law arrived shortly after this, and I was so thankful to see her that I nearly collapsed in her arms.
Just before Robert, his mother and I left to come home tonight, Dr. Riela, Vivian's longtime neurologist, called and spoke to me. He had come by to see Vivian last night but was calling to say he wouldn't be back again until after Vivian's EEG tomorrow. I relayed to him how upset I was to hear that Vivian had suffered a brain injury. He told me he thought that the jury was still out on that and that we should know more after the EEG test. I took some encouragement from his comments, but I am still pretty devastated.
PLEASE join Robert and me in pleading for God's mercy for Vivian. Pray that her EEG results are similar to those from the EEG Vivian had two years ago at this hospital. Pray that Vivian's current state only reflects her confusion from being sedated for so long, from awakening in a strange and unfamiliar setting and from pain and discomfort related to her arm surgery.
I love and appreciate each of you. We need and covet your prayers right now.
"Thy mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens; and thy faithfulness reacheth unto the clouds. Thy righteousness is like the great mountains; thy judgments are a great deep: O Lord, thou preservest man and beast. How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings." Psalms 36:5-7
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